Journal the Journey

In every season of life, through the mountains and valleys, God has always been faithful… and He always will be.

9/9/13.

Midnight.

Lately I have been so burdened by the pain being felt by so many innocent children as the result of the brokenness of this world. I even feel like it’s my job to do something huge regarding the orphan crisis and malnutrition and preventable diseases all plaguing Africa. I try to figure out in my head how to get us over there and what we should do.

But then, I think tonight about [a friend]’s friend that is feeling so helpless that she’s tried killing herself. And I think of [a friend]’s relative, broken to pieces from lies and infidelity. “There are hurting ones all around, and to ignore everyone’s pain but your own is utter foolishness,” I hear within.

I cannot, and am not meant to, carry the weight of the whole world’s problems on my shoulders; but, I am not to ignore them and live life as if it’s all about me either. I am to seek Your will for where You’ve placed me. You’ve strategically, thoughtfully, not-by-accident placed me into a sphere of influence that will never exist again after You call me home. Nobody else will be able to impact the lives of the people I am positioned to impact.

I thank You for this revelation! I have not thought about this before; thank You Holy Spirit for revealing it to me. I know You have placed in me an intercessor’s heart. So I will intercede for those I cannot physically help today, and I will look to the day we can. But there are Your beloveds all around me You want me to minister to; so I open my eyes and heart to them now…

April 2015- I share part of a 19-month-old journal entry of mine, as it made me think of my topic lately (purpose) when I came across it. My hope for you is that you will see those in your life that you can shine the light of Christ to. Nobody has ever existed, and nobody will ever exist again, that knows exactly the people you know. But only through finding our purpose of being His and His alone wholeheartedly can we then fulfill our secondary (yet still incredibly important!) purpose of pointing others to Him through the love and light shining within, a direct outpouring of our belonging to Him. More on this tomorrow.

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dezmellish

I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been calling Birmingham, Alabama home since 2013. I’m happily married to the sweetest, most selfless man I’ve ever known. Prior to meeting and marrying him in 2021, I was a divorced mom to three daughters for 4 1/2 years. When I remarried, I gained a fourth daughter. On January 26, 2024, we lost my Dad. He had just turned 92 on January 6. He moved in with us the week after Joseph and I got married in October of 2021, and we had the honor of being his caregivers for the last 2 years and 3 months of his life. I currently work full-time as a Fitness Director at the most wonderful country club, where I also have a full load of personal training clients. This is a job I have enjoyed since 2019. Prior to entering the fitness industry, I was an elementary/middle school tutor. I have been a follower of Jesus Christ since I was a child. God showed me that He was real and that He loved me in powerful, unmistakeable ways during some very dark and difficult childhood years. As an adult, my theology has changed quite a bit. As life circumstances crushed me, I began holding all of the things I had been taught as a child, teenager, and young adult up to the light of scripture. As a result, I deconstructed my faith before deconstruction was really a thing, but never abandoned my faith in the process. After living through harmful teachings that were founded on misuse of scripture, I am passionate about the integrity of God’s Word. Nothing boils my blood quite like seeing scriptures used for selfish gain, abused, and taught out of their intended context. I have been journaling for 25 years. This is my space of the internet to share the ways God has been faithful to me as evidenced in my journals, as well as anything else that is placed on my heart to share. I hope you find something here that positively impacts you in some way. All are welcome here.

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