Journal the Journey

In every season of life, through the mountains and valleys, God has always been faithful… and He always will be.

Fog (continued).

“Are you doing your musing now?” he asked.

“I guess,” I replied, less than enthusiastic. Pretty much the opposite of enthusiastically.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Hey,” he said as I was walking away. I looked at him, and he smiled. “Your writings are wonderful and I love reading them. If only for me, do it.”

So here I am. This one’s for you, babe. And since you surely noticed that I ran out of time mid-thought last night, I will try to pick back up from there:

He (God) proved to me the “cry” can be an inward whisper and He still hears it. I woke up today with… peace. The heaviness I was feeling before bed, that heaviness that was crushing me to the point that all I could pray in the exhausted, anxious moment was basically a simple, desperate “Help me please,” was gone. All of it. Sure the things to do still lingered, but they weren’t consuming me and I felt… like a conqueror already, even before I’ve lived out the victories. Conqueror. Hmm… makes me think of the last part of Romans 8:

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? 33 Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; 34 who is the one whocondemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was [a]raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. 35 Who will separate us fromthe love of [b]Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 Just as it is written,

“For Your sake we are being put to death all day long;
We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

As I got out of bed, I was immediately grateful and just sincerely in awe. There’s no way to explain it except that God answered my cry, because I am not the type of person that can just sleep off stress.

I do want to point out, the things that are causing me stress have nothing to do with my personal or professional relationships. My marriage to my number one fan, the man that makes me laugh every single day and is my very best friend on this earth, is thriving. My children are doing wonderful. I am so thankful for the friends God has given me. I have the best job in the world as far as I’m concerned, and I could not have even dreamed up such a wonderful job even if I had tried because of the family I work for. (I could have a similar job working for a different family and it would not be nearly as fulfilling I am sure.)

So the nature of my problems are temporary, and I know this is opportunity for me to grow in discipline and faith. God is going to guide my path as I trust fully in Him to teach me and direct my steps.

Last night’s Mom/Daughter Date to Cracker Barrel and Target with Lexi Love was so enjoyable and life-giving. On the way home, I had been sharing with her how God freed me overnight from the heaviness of everything I’ve got to get done very soon, and she asked me to share some of the things causing the heaviness. She said that she could tell I was troubled the day before. I mentioned in a prior post, she can read me really well and she hates seeing me stressed. So I shared with her a few of the many things on my to do list, and I received a response from her that most Moms of teenagers would not expect to hear. She said, “I can help you,” and she said it cheerfully. Not only did she offer her help- but she sincerely wants to help me! This made my heart sing. Between her and my supportive, helpful husband, there truly are so many things I carry alone that I can ask for help with.

I share that to say, there’s nothing quite like having others come alongside you to help you with a burden you are carrying. I want to encourage you to talk to someone about anything that is weighing heavily on you, after first talking to it about God first. You don’t have to give Him details, as He knows every single thing about you already, but ask for His wisdom and ask for His help. Then also ask Him to show you who He has placed/will place in your life that you can confide in so they can pray for you too and offer godly advice. Fog is much easier to get out of when you have someone to lead you out of it.

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dezmellish

I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been calling Birmingham, Alabama home since 2013. I’m happily married to the sweetest, most selfless man I’ve ever known. Prior to meeting and marrying him in 2021, I was a divorced mom to three daughters for 4 1/2 years. When I remarried, I gained a fourth daughter. On January 26, 2024, we lost my Dad. He had just turned 92 on January 6. He moved in with us the week after Joseph and I got married in October of 2021, and we had the honor of being his caregivers for the last 2 years and 3 months of his life. I currently work full-time as a Fitness Director at the most wonderful country club, where I also have a full load of personal training clients. This is a job I have enjoyed since 2019. Prior to entering the fitness industry, I was an elementary/middle school tutor. I have been a follower of Jesus Christ since I was a child. God showed me that He was real and that He loved me in powerful, unmistakeable ways during some very dark and difficult childhood years. As an adult, my theology has changed quite a bit. As life circumstances crushed me, I began holding all of the things I had been taught as a child, teenager, and young adult up to the light of scripture. As a result, I deconstructed my faith before deconstruction was really a thing, but never abandoned my faith in the process. After living through harmful teachings that were founded on misuse of scripture, I am passionate about the integrity of God’s Word. Nothing boils my blood quite like seeing scriptures used for selfish gain, abused, and taught out of their intended context. I have been journaling for 25 years. This is my space of the internet to share the ways God has been faithful to me as evidenced in my journals, as well as anything else that is placed on my heart to share. I hope you find something here that positively impacts you in some way. All are welcome here.

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