Journal the Journey

In every season of life, through the mountains and valleys, God has always been faithful… and He always will be.

4:30 am.

My early bird husband’s alarm went off at 4:30 am. My heart started pounding, because I knew this meant that mine was going to go off in only 15 minutes. The thoughts started racing through my head. “What was I thinking?! I can’t do this! I didn’t even get a full night’s rest…” and some more reasons why I should cancel came to mind. My adrenaline was pumping so there was no more snoozing. I got out of bed, eyes burning and wobbly on my feet. Most people that know me know that I am not a morning person. Some even doubted if I had chosen the right career path (teacher), seeing as me getting anywhere at 7 am seemed near impossible.

Though I am more of a morning person now than I’ve ever been, I still am not all chipper about it on most days. So what was I doing getting up at 4:30, 2 solid hours before I have to?

Well… I’ve made this precious new friend (who may be reading this now, so HI and I am thankful for you!) who is a personal trainer. When we with our husbands went on a double date last Wednesday, she asked me at some point during the night if I would like to come to the gym to work out with her some early mornings. I immediately gave an enthusiastic yes without much hesitation. My husband laughed and said something to the effect that I am not an early riser. He’s right. And I knew he was right, but I was feeling overzealous and determined.

Those are easy emotions to come by a week in advance. Starting a new diet or dropping a bad habit or doing pretty much anything that is ultimately better for you (but yet your flesh doesn’t want you to do it and battles against you) tends to appear much more do-able when your start (or quit) date is in the distance. I was excited to get up before the sun and work out with someone I love being around… until last night. Then I got nervous. I was racing against the clock to get things done so I could go to bed. I wanted to be asleep by 8:30 but it was already 9:30 and I still wasn’t quite ready. There’s no way I was going to bail. I just wanted to get a good 8 hours of sleep, and as that became unrealistic I got anxious.

I am saying all this because there’s a point (or two) I’m getting to. But I only have 2 minutes and 29 seconds left for tonight, so I’m not even going to jump into my point until tomorrow.

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dezmellish

I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been calling Birmingham, Alabama home since 2013. I’m happily married to the sweetest, most selfless man I’ve ever known. Prior to meeting and marrying him in 2021, I was a divorced mom to three daughters for 4 1/2 years. When I remarried, I gained a fourth daughter. On January 26, 2024, we lost my Dad. He had just turned 92 on January 6. He moved in with us the week after Joseph and I got married in October of 2021, and we had the honor of being his caregivers for the last 2 years and 3 months of his life. I currently work full-time as a Fitness Director at the most wonderful country club, where I also have a full load of personal training clients. This is a job I have enjoyed since 2019. Prior to entering the fitness industry, I was an elementary/middle school tutor. I have been a follower of Jesus Christ since I was a child. God showed me that He was real and that He loved me in powerful, unmistakeable ways during some very dark and difficult childhood years. As an adult, my theology has changed quite a bit. As life circumstances crushed me, I began holding all of the things I had been taught as a child, teenager, and young adult up to the light of scripture. As a result, I deconstructed my faith before deconstruction was really a thing, but never abandoned my faith in the process. After living through harmful teachings that were founded on misuse of scripture, I am passionate about the integrity of God’s Word. Nothing boils my blood quite like seeing scriptures used for selfish gain, abused, and taught out of their intended context. I have been journaling for 25 years. This is my space of the internet to share the ways God has been faithful to me as evidenced in my journals, as well as anything else that is placed on my heart to share. I hope you find something here that positively impacts you in some way. All are welcome here.

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