Journal the Journey

In every season of life, through the mountains and valleys, God has always been faithful… and He always will be.

Thirty-two.

I don’t know what it is about turning 32, but something in me has been stirred up over these past few days. I am excited about this year, and I feel a deep sense that it is truly going to be the best year yet.

There will be hardships. There will be times for mourning and weeping, and times for rejoicing and dancing and laughing. It won’t be stress-free or trouble-free… I know this, because this is real life. Life on this side of eternity is full of stress and trouble. But I cannot contain my giddiness! For God is up to something… He is faithful… and He is good, so very very good. He is with me through the good times and bad, and He has a plan that I can trust even though I rarely understand it.

I remember being in my early twenties and thinking that 30 is old, as if 29 is our peak and then it’s all down here from there. Thank God for the work He has done in my heart since then! My culture has tried so hard to convince me that the 20s are the peak, and aging should be avoided at all costs. (How silly does that sound? As if we are somehow happier if we can just ignore the fact that this body has an expiration date, and then subsequently pour millions of dollars as a whole into the beauty industry that is selling us false promises.) One thing we can so easily forget is that this life is not all there is. To the contrary, it is only the beginning. This is our boot camp in preparation for eternity. There is work we will do in eternity, and God desires to use all things great and small right here and now to prepare us for His good plans for us after this body inhales its last breath.

I can say with certainty that 31 was the best year for me spiritually than any other year, for I sought after Him more fervently and faithfully than I had in any other year. He taught me so much- about Him, about me, and about others. He keeps proving to me just how true and how alive His Word is as I have studied, pondered, prayed, and journaled about the things I’m seeing in my quiet times.

He’s shown me that my quiet times really aren’t that quiet, for they are full of discussion between us. I prefer to think of them as communion times, as communion is defined as “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level.”

He’s taught me how to love even when the unlovable in someone is glaring at me, how to forgive even when I’m being wronged over and over again, and how to be truly unoffendable, as it was (and still is) impossible to offend Jesus. He’s teaching me what real humility looks like. He’s teaching me how to pay attention to my thoughts and recognize which ones are lies, fiery arrows from the enemy. I am not claiming to be perfect at any of this, but I do recognize the ways He is maturing me and I am so grateful. And it is my hope that He will give me the confidence to write as I am learning from Him, for I do feel part of my calling in this life is to teach others what He is teaching me – especially my children and small group friends.

My fifteen minutes are up, and I started this post not knowing if I had anything worth reading to write. But since my birthday I have been wanting to write giving God glory, honor, and praise for what He has done in me in year 31, and I want you to know that getting older is not to be feared. It should not be a depressing, dreadful thing. Embrace it. Every day is bringing us one day closer to seeing Jesus face-to-face. I promise you that your best day here on earth TOTALLY pales in comparison to your worst day in Heaven. And until that incredible day that we see Him with our own eyes, we have been richly blessed with the indwelling of His Holy Spirit to counsel us, guide us, teach us, strengthen us, comfort us, encourage us, and be our best friend. We’ve been so tremendously blessed to have God’s Word – the Bible – so accessible. Please don’t take that for granted, for it is the most precious gift you own.

Let’s not waste a single moment dwelling on how depressing aging can be. Let’s thank Him for another day to know Him and make Him known on this earth. Let’s run this race well, eyes fixed on the prize at the finish line – eternity as children of the Most High God, King of Kings. Our inheritance in Christ is unimaginable.

Lord, teach us to number our days, that we may grow in wisdom.

dezmellish's avatar

Posted by:

dezmellish

I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been calling Birmingham, Alabama home since 2013. I’m happily married to the sweetest, most selfless man I’ve ever known. Prior to meeting and marrying him in 2021, I was a divorced mom to three daughters for 4 1/2 years. When I remarried, I gained a fourth daughter. On January 26, 2024, we lost my Dad. He had just turned 92 on January 6. He moved in with us the week after Joseph and I got married in October of 2021, and we had the honor of being his caregivers for the last 2 years and 3 months of his life. I currently work full-time as a Fitness Director at the most wonderful country club, where I also have a full load of personal training clients. This is a job I have enjoyed since 2019. Prior to entering the fitness industry, I was an elementary/middle school tutor. I have been a follower of Jesus Christ since I was a child. God showed me that He was real and that He loved me in powerful, unmistakeable ways during some very dark and difficult childhood years. As an adult, my theology has changed quite a bit. As life circumstances crushed me, I began holding all of the things I had been taught as a child, teenager, and young adult up to the light of scripture. As a result, I deconstructed my faith before deconstruction was really a thing, but never abandoned my faith in the process. After living through harmful teachings that were founded on misuse of scripture, I am passionate about the integrity of God’s Word. Nothing boils my blood quite like seeing scriptures used for selfish gain, abused, and taught out of their intended context. I have been journaling for 25 years. This is my space of the internet to share the ways God has been faithful to me as evidenced in my journals, as well as anything else that is placed on my heart to share. I hope you find something here that positively impacts you in some way. All are welcome here.

Leave a comment