Journal the Journey

In every season of life, through the mountains and valleys, God has always been faithful… and He always will be.

Miraculous. 

“I don’t know what it is about turning 32, but something in me has been stirred up over these past few days. I am excited about this year, and I feel a deep sense that it is truly going to be the best year yet.
There will be hardships. There will be times for mourning and weeping, and times for rejoicing and dancing and laughing. It won’t be stress-free or trouble-free… I know this, because this is real life. Life on this side of eternity is full of stress and trouble. But I cannot contain my giddiness! For God is up to something… He is faithful… and He is good, so very very good. He is with me through the good times and bad, and He has a plan that I can trust even though I rarely understand it.”

Here I am, about 2 months after writing the last entry, absolutely amazed at what God has already done this year. That “deep sense” was imparted onto me by God, and I am still in great anticipation of what’s to come. God has been up to A LOT in my family, and His faithfulness and goodness have me stupefied. I cannot possibly name all He’s been doing, but here’s a few things:

He has captivated my husband’s heart, and as a result our marriage just continues to grow stronger and more beautiful every day.

He has answered our prayer concerning growing our family, as we found out on January 27th that I am pregnant.

And then, at my first doctor’s appointment on March 2, in this very hour on this day last week, we got a peek at what God is doing in my womb. And to our utter amazement and uncontainable joy, we saw not only one little heart beating… but two.

No twins run in the family. No fertility treatments. I share these two facts because there is no way genetics or medical science can steal any of the glory from God Himself for these miraculous children. I don’t use the word miraculous lightly, and in time we will testify of why we believe this pregnancy can be described as such.

I don’t have much more to muse about right now, but this blog has been on my heart a lot lately so I decided sharing our big news is one way to break back into a habit of posting more frequently. Surely I will have lots to muse about in this pregnancy.

Before I go, I want to share a piece of my prayer journal entry from this morning with you. I want this to be a place of authentic transparency, a place where I am vulnerable for the sake of bringing God glory and helping others. I can’t get much more transparent than providing glimpses into my prayer journals.

“Thank You for these 2 miracles. I’ve been so plagued by worry lately, afraid I am going to do or consume something that will harm them. Forgive me for worrying. Please remove it from me and replace it with deeper levels of trust, peace, and joy. I do not want to waste moments of this pregnancy in worry; I want to fix my eyes on You and bring You praise. I want these babies’ first sounds they hear to be a Mommy’s heart beating in full trust in and surrender to her First Love, her God. And I want them to hear my vocal cords producing the sounds of prayer, praise, and worship.”

And then I closed with two scriptures to help arm me to fight against worry:

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART; do NOT depend on your own understanding. SEEK HIS WILL in ALL you do, and HE WILL SHOW YOU which path to take. -Proverbs 3:5-6

SEARCH for the Lord and for His strength; CONTINUALLY seek Him. REMEMBER the wonders He has performed, His miracles, and the rulings He has given, you children of His servant Abraham… HIS CHOSEN ONES. -Psalm 105:4-6

If you’re in a season that has you anxious, I want to encourage you to “be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10-11) Clothe yourself in His truths, found in His Word. Put on His righteousness, His peace, and hold up that shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil – arrows like fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, bitterness, condemnation. Your sword is the Word of God. It slays the enemy, and it is far too powerful for him to contend against.

God’s peace to you, in Jesus’ precious name.

dezmellish's avatar

Posted by:

dezmellish

I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been calling Birmingham, Alabama home since 2013. I’m happily married to the sweetest, most selfless man I’ve ever known. Prior to meeting and marrying him in 2021, I was a divorced mom to three daughters for 4 1/2 years. When I remarried, I gained a fourth daughter. On January 26, 2024, we lost my Dad. He had just turned 92 on January 6. He moved in with us the week after Joseph and I got married in October of 2021, and we had the honor of being his caregivers for the last 2 years and 3 months of his life. I currently work full-time as a Fitness Director at the most wonderful country club, where I also have a full load of personal training clients. This is a job I have enjoyed since 2019. Prior to entering the fitness industry, I was an elementary/middle school tutor. I have been a follower of Jesus Christ since I was a child. God showed me that He was real and that He loved me in powerful, unmistakeable ways during some very dark and difficult childhood years. As an adult, my theology has changed quite a bit. As life circumstances crushed me, I began holding all of the things I had been taught as a child, teenager, and young adult up to the light of scripture. As a result, I deconstructed my faith before deconstruction was really a thing, but never abandoned my faith in the process. After living through harmful teachings that were founded on misuse of scripture, I am passionate about the integrity of God’s Word. Nothing boils my blood quite like seeing scriptures used for selfish gain, abused, and taught out of their intended context. I have been journaling for 25 years. This is my space of the internet to share the ways God has been faithful to me as evidenced in my journals, as well as anything else that is placed on my heart to share. I hope you find something here that positively impacts you in some way. All are welcome here.

Leave a comment