Journal the Journey

Evelyn woke me up early this morning. Her beloved paci had fallen out of the crib. I entered the room and she smiled at me, knowing I was coming to the rescue. She stood at the corner closest to me and waited for me to find it. My preliminary search came up fruitless. She reached for me, so I gladly scooped her up in my arms and held her close. She laid her head on my shoulder. I tilted my mouth toward her ear and whispered, “I love you.”

After several minutes of just savoring her, fully aware she will grow up so fast, I changed her diaper and nursed her. She wiggled out of my lap when she finished nursing, walked as quickly as her little wobbly legs would go to the CD player across the room and pressed play, which instantly started up the Scripture Lullabies CD we listen to every night at bedtime. She smiled in satisfaction at the sound of the music as she toddled right back to me, eyes aglow. “Even babies find joy in the sounds of worship,” I thought as I placed her in her crib and continued the paci search. She giggled in delight when I found it. I tucked her in and she rolled to her side, placing both of her tiny, chubby hands under her cheek. All was well again in her world.

Of course her twin sister, Aralyn, noticed the moment I entered the room and had popped up also. She patiently waited for me to finish with Evelyn, sucking her paci as her eyes stayed glued on me. As soon as I finished with Evelyn, I scooped her up and did much the same: snuggled her, changed her diaper, nursed her, then tucked her in.

I emerged out of the nursery, sleepy-eyed but my heart bursting with love for these precious princesses of mine. I made a beeline to my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed, my oldest princess sleeping soundly on one side. I had planned to sleep another hour or so, but I felt a tug on my heart to turn my alarms off and stay awake.

I decided to succumb to the tug, went to the kitchen, and made coffee. I lit the fireplace and grabbed my Bible from the dining room table. “What a paradox,” I thought to myself as I picked it up. “I’ve never been so poor, yet I’ve never been richer.” God’s way of doing things is so different than the world’s. He’s brought me low… to lift me up.

God entered the room and I smiled at Him, knowing He was coming to the rescue. I reached for Him, so He gladly scooped me up in His arms and held me close. I laid my head on His shoulder. He tilted His mouth to my ear and whispered, “I love you.”

I wept, for I know this is true.

You see, the One who loves me has walked in my shoes. Jesus felt forsaken, betrayed by one in His inner circle and then left alone by almost all the others to die a humiliating, excruciating death. He knows my pain, for He’s lived it. Furthermore, He knows pain far beyond my own. A prophecy of Him in the Old Testament accurately reads:

He was despised and rejected–a Man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on Him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. (Isaiah 53:3)

Oh, but the description of Him does not end there. The very next verse reads:

Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down. And we thought His troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for His own sins! (Isaiah 53:4)

This was spoken of Him around 700 years before His birth, the birth the entire world is lit up to celebrate in just a couple of weeks. Something that was to come was prophesied using past tense as if it were already true.

God has seen my pain from the very beginning; to Him it’s always been spoken in past tense. Not only has He seen it, but He planned all along to turn it around into joy, into healing, and into purpose, all for my good and for His glory. His plan for my life is still unfolding for me day by day, yet I am safely held by Him – the One who already sees it all from beginning to end.

He carried my weakness and sorrows on the cross. He carries them today. And He will be faithful to carry them tomorrow.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

My God, He’s got the strongest shoulders.

After several minutes of just savoring Him, fully aware that one day I will see Him face to face, I began to speak to Him. I cried in delight as His presence blanketed me entirely, tucking me in. All was well again in my world.